10 Ways you can tell I'm not a character in an American Soap Opera
1. When I'm involved in a motor vehicle accident or natural disaster, my hair gets messy.
2. I'm not an executive in the fashion or cosmetics industry.
3. I've never been married to anyone who has previously been married to my mother or my daughter.
4. I've never poured myself a drink from a cut glass or crystal decanter.
5. I've never thrown said drink in anyone's face in a fit of rage.
6. I've never known anyone who was thought dead but showed up years later.
7. I've never had amnesia.
8. I don't pause dramatically and look away from the person I'm speaking to (while music swells).
9. I've never turned from good to evil (or from evil to good).
10. The plot of my life is doesn't get left in a dramatic cliff-hanger every Friday afternoon.
Down-to-Earth Étoile Michal
9 years ago
10 comments:
Does it count if you dramatically turn your head away during a conversation WITHOUT the music swelling?
Oh nevermind. I'll never be worthy of soap opera.
Re: #7 - How do you know you've never had amnesia? Maybe you had amnesia and then had a subsequent case of it that caused you to forget the first time.
I would add to this, "The next day in my life do not start with 15 minutes of reviewing what happened yesterday."
Actually, I'd never heard of "Over the Rhine" until you mentioned it. Are they popular? Am I just completely out of it?
Very funny list by the way. I've stopped watching soap operas, but you pretty much hit the nail on the head here!
And aren't you glad about that? Being on a soap opera - while INTERESTING - would be stressful.
dumb american here, is that an "inside joke"?:)
Bren - Yes, any dramatic head turning counts.
Mike - Thanks for commenting! And if I had a second case of amnesia that caused me to forget the first one, wouldn't I know about the second one?
Heidi - Good addition. I don't watch them either, but when I was pregnant I watched Y&R to relax after work. They suck you in so fast...
Beck - Good point. Those folks don't even get over one tragedy before the next one strikes.
Brenda - No inside joke, just poking a bit of fun at a ridiculous genre!
I've never concocted a scheme - or been a victim of a scheme concocted by others.
Sorry, I wasn't clear. The second case of (selective) amnesia would cause you to forget only that you previously had amnesia. It would also be accompanied by a miraculous restoration of all memories lost in the first case. (Okay, so I'm stretching the definition/possibilities of amnesia here ... but I'd say that's probably okay when discussing soap opera amnesia.)
well, i guess you can tell i never watched a soap opera before since I didn't get the references. that means there is still ONE genre of television I haven't become addicted to!
Very funny!
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